Psalm 139 – His Thoughts Toward Me
By Bunni Pounds
I absolutely adore Psalm 139. The words bring me to tears almost every time I read them. I have quoted sections of this Psalm over and over again in my life as it has become one of the most precious examples to me of how intimately the Lord knows and loves me.
When I was in Bible School at Christ for the Nations in 1992, I heard one of my professors, Dr. Larry Hill, speak for an hour on this Psalm with tears running down his face. I don’t know if he’d received a revelation of the love of God in the midst of his lecture, or if God had already been speaking to him through this Psalm, but on that day his words came from such a raw and transparent place. His passion and revelation impacted me in such a powerful way that I will never forget. Almost thirty years later, I still remember the room where we were seated, and can visualize the students sitting there and Dr. Hill pouring this Psalm out of his heart. He taught us that day that we couldn’t do anything for God until we understand the DEPTH of the knowledge of His love for us.
Having been raised in a Christian family where my dad was a Pastor and having had a radical encounter with God at the young age of 13, I understood that God knew my name. I knew He had a special call on my life, but I didn’t understand how intimately He thought of me, how often, and how complete. That one day sitting in that class, I received something that has been solidified in my heart ever since. There is no reason to ever hide from the love of God because God is not afraid of any darkness in me. He sees it and He knows it intimately.
“O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.” (verses 1-6)
Because this is such an intimate Psalm, I am going to write the rest of this article in the first person - talking about me to make a point, instead of us. I want you to better understand that when you are reading the Word, God wants to make it personal to you.
I am going to share how God loves me and walks with me, but He loves you in the exact same way. I am not a special child of God, though I like to think I am His favorite! (I am, right?) We are all loved equally, and God calls us all uniquely special and cherished.
God is constantly searching the deepest parts of my heart. He knows when I get up to seek Him or when I sleep in because I am exhausted. He knows my deepest thoughts when I genuinely love someone or when I am judging them instead. He knows the path that my thoughts take sometimes, thoughts of self-importance or self-honor, or instead when I take the road of humility and peace in my mind. He knows every deep thing about me, and He still loves me. God wants to have a relationship with me regardless of the day to day turns in my mind.
I love it that He knows not only my words, but my thoughts, and even deeper than that – the things I don’t even think – I just habitually do - because they are so deeply ingrained in me. He knows me that completely, and He still loves me and cherishes me.
(Verse 5) “You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.”
I remember distinctly hearing and seeing my professor being overwhelmed by this verse as he read it….
Here is the truth - God has never let me go! He has trapped me with His love. I can’t look back in the past without seeing His hand guiding me, and I can’t look to the future without seeing the hope of His life being shown through me. He has me trapped in His embrace, and not only that, but He has laid His hand upon me – this movement is speaking about the authority and the power of God. He has laid on me His power and authority just like the father of ancient times who laid his hand on his firstborn son and gave him the inheritance and the power of the family. God has laid His hand on me and called me His own special child. I am so thankful that I can’t even make words for this, so I echo David’s statement here “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me: It is high, I cannot attain it” (verse 6).
“Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall fall on me,’
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.” (verses 7-12)
This passage speaks of the faithfulness of God to me every time - God will never let me go. I am His and that knowledge humbles me and keeps me in His love. If God has called me to be His – where can I run? Is He not big enough to grab me back? Can I really flee from His presence for too long?
Jonah couldn’t run too far – he tried and ended up in the belly of a giant fish. David tried with Bathsheba and ended up soon being confronted by the Prophet Nathan and on his face crying his eyes out in repentance. Do I want to try running from Him to test His love? Of course not! I can rest assured that He will not let me go no matter what, no matter how far I seem to run.
This line in the Psalm sends me over the top. “If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.”
Wow - God is with me in the hell that I make for myself. If I can grasp the reality of that statement and the love that He displays there, I would never make a bed in hell. Why would I want to inflict hell on myself when there is a love that’s strong and so deep FOR ME?
If I truly believe that truth, I will cherish myself, take care of myself, and truly love myself. That revelation truly makes me secure in Him and helps me live in a life of heaven instead of a hell on earth.
The demonstration of love in this passage also speaks to me not to give up on the people around me that I know are trying to flee from His presence. I have the faith to believe God – who can pull them out of their bed of hell. These verses give me hope that the darkness that surrounds them will not overtake them. God is not afraid of the dark. He can walk right into a room of debauchery and evil and pick up His child in His arms and carry them home.
“The darkness and light are both alike to You.” (verse 12) God is not overwhelmed by the darkness. His light is more powerful than anything, and He can reverse the darkness with His glory and love. God is bigger than my sin, their sin, and any power of the devil. There is no reason to hide from the love of God because God is not afraid of any darkness in me.
“For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.” (verses 13-16)
Psalm 139 blesses me so much because it says - I am not an accident. I was made by God. He knew me before my mother knew I was being formed in her womb. God knew I was there when I was just a cluster of cells. God knew who I was going to be when I was “yet unformed” – before I was even thought of. He knew my personality; He knew my gifting. He knew my weaknesses. Wow! He “fashioned” my days before they were.
Do you know how much peace that thought gives me as I think and meditate on my future? Do I really have anything to worry about in my future when God knows my days?
Are all the precious children that are born with Down syndrome, learning disabilities, or degenerative diseases “fearfully and wonderfully made”? Yes. God knew and loved them before they were born just like He knew and loved me. I am no different than those precious souls. God created them, even with the effects of sin on this earth in their bodies, for God to pour out His love to them. God knew…
“How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.” (verses 17-18)
God thinks about me all the time. He can’t get enough of me. Beautiful!
Every day I wake up I get to be with Him. I am a girl in love - and He is in love with me.
“Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.” (verses 19-24)
I love that David was so content in the love of God as He was writing this that he blasted out the reality of the darkness in his heart to everyone. He hated his enemies, and he had major anxieties. He was not afraid to speak out what was in his heart because he knew that God knew his thoughts and his ways already.
Why am I so afraid to speak out the truth to God about what is really going on in my heart? He knows the deepest parts of my heart anyway.
David says a prayer here that I echo, “Search me, O God, and know my heart. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” David was crying out for deliverance and for truth to penetrate his being. He wanted to be real in front of God and in front of others. He didn’t want to live in his bed in hell any longer. David wanted to rest in the truth that God’s hand was upon him and that he was hedged in by the love of His Creator.
Just like I did that day in class, as I felt tears starting to run down my face as they ran down the face of Dr. Larry Hill – today, I am resting in God’s love and the thought that He is always thinking about me. It gives me such peace, joy, and hope during good days and days that are extremely hard.
He will never forsake me even if there is darkness around me. There is no reason to hide from the love of God because God is not afraid of any darkness in me.
God knows me.
AND He knows YOU!
Political Corner:
The revelation in Psalm 139 was one of the reasons that I got involved with the pro-life movement years ago. It is one of the reasons I only work for pro-life candidates and elected officials.
It is a convicting Psalm because if we really take it at face value – God’s thoughts and care for every baby in the womb should make us weep. When we understand His heart – we catch His passion. He cares about these precious lives in the most dangerous place to be in our modern world – the womb.
Proverbs 24:11 says, “Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.”
Proverbs 6:16-17 says, “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him; haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood.”
Lord, forgive us, for not valuing Your thoughts toward LIFE and carrying your passion to protect it. Since You know our darkness and sin intimately, You died so that we might have forgiveness by Your blood. You demonstrated Your love toward us that while we were still sinners, You died for us. (Romans 5:8)
Pray with us! Sign up for our WEEKLY PRAYER TEXT
This blog is sponsored by Christians Engaged monthly supporter, Ashley Burns.
Want to sponsor a blog and support our mission? Learn more HERE