By Ben Quine
**This article is part of a series written by Ben Quine that takes us through the whole of Scripture to discover what God has to say about how we as believers in Jesus Christ should conduct ourselves both inside the church and outside in our public and private lives. You will discover that the Word of God has much to say about our conduct.

With so much rain and fog, vision was extremely limited, but the drivers stoutly continued on. What the drivers on this busy road did not know, was that this very day the bridge had collapsed. Every driver that proceeded as normal would perish. One young person managed to stop in time, and with as much speed as they could muster, they ran back to warn the other drivers —“Stop! The bridge is out! You’ve got to turn around!!” But they were met with contempt, “Get out of the road!” “Can’t you see that we’re in a hurry!” “We’ve got to get to work.”

As followers of Jesus we are not all called to be prophets, but we are all called to love our neighbors. So what is real Biblical love?

We’ve already seen from the life of Jesus that he didn’t shy away from conflict; that he offered rebuke and correction; that he spoke difficult and sometimes abrasive truth; and that he called everyone to repent (Mark 1:14-15).

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. (Ephesians 5:25-30, emphasis added) 

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines nourish as “to provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition.” And cherish is defined as, “to protect and care for (someone) lovingly.” As I first heard Josh McDowell point out years ago, Biblical love means to provide for and protect the one we love. The Old Testament prophets demonstrate that words of correction based on truth provide for and protect those who listen. 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

God expressed His agape love for the world by sending His son to die: it was active, costly, and unconditional.

Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him. (John 14:21)

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (I John 3:18)

Love is not an emotion, it doesn’t mean using a soft voice, it doesn’t mean being inoffensive, but it does mean taking action. Love provides and protects; it corrects; it takes steps on someone else’s behalf for their good. In short, LOVE is doing what God has revealed is best for someone else, even though this may stir up their anger. The Love of the Old Testament prophets, John the Baptist, Stephen, the apostles, and Jesus made the world angry enough to kill them.

This is how God shows His love to His children — He rescues, teaches, disciplines, and reproves those He loves (John 3:16, Proverbs 3:11-12, Hebrews 12:7-8). Love motivated Jesus to wait two days after hearing that Lazarus was sick — literally allowing him to die — because he knew that delay would be of benefit to Lazarus, his sisters, and the other people who would be witness to his resurrection (John 11:5-15).

And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:5)

God pours His love into His children through the Holy Spirit, that we might have the power to turn away from sin (Romans 6:1-2, II Corinthians 5:14-15). God loves us too much to allow us to remain in our sin, because sin is self-destructive.

God calls His children to mirror His love. God lovingly disciplines His children and then commands them to lovingly discipline their children (Proverbs 13:24). God requires His children to work diligently to care for their own relatives (II Thessalonians 3:10, I Timothy 5:8), and then commands the Church to exclude from continual church distribution those who are fit enough to work, or who have families to care for them (I Timothy 5:11-16).

Scripture is filled with similar exhortations to show “tough love.” Though these actions may bring the world’s scorn, they are loving, because they seek the true good of the other person, as defined by God’s truth. 

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:15)

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

Even when confrontation and conflict are required, love’s goal is always to restore our brothers and sisters.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)

Our struggle is not with flesh and blood; it is a spiritual struggle. The people who oppose the truth do so because they are deceived. We must love them by teaching them the truth, by acting for their good, and by standing in opposition to the spiritual forces of evil. 

“And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town.” (Matthew 10:11-15)

Jesus always acted in love, and he pointedly instructed his disciples to leave and to “shake off the dust” of those who rejected the good news of the Kingdom. Biblical love seeks the best for another, but it never forces change — love does not coerce. Instead, love shares the truth and then moves on, if met with hostility.

But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:48-50)

“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” (Matthew 7:6)

The Biblical principle of non-coercion is clearly seen in the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). God’s love is long-suffering: the father did not attempt to make his son stay. He did not follow his son and plead with him to reconsider. He let him leave. But when the son was repentant and returned, the father ran to embrace him and welcome him home!

We must recognize that only God can change someone’s heart. We cannot make anyone change, and we do not attempt to force them to do so.

Similarly, we do not expect unregenerate hearts, or a society that has rejected Him, to follow God’s principles. But, in love, we encourage, teach, and implement Biblical principles whenever and wherever we can. 

The bridge is out. Our family, friends, and neighbors are racing towards condemnation and self-destruction. Love means to take action on their behalf. Love requires that we act to provide for and protect those we love.